6 Tips for Wives

Always love your honey!

Being young and ignorant, I felt I was ready for marriage at age 19.  Looking back, I suppose I was mostly ready, or about as ready as I could be, given my situation.  I had very little guidance growing up, and courtship and marriage was no difference.  I think it took me about fifteen years to really get into the swing of things and begin being the wife God meant me to be. 

What could have helped me is if someone took me aside and quietly explained some very important principles to me.  Perhaps some folks did; maybe I just didn’t listen.  Regardless, here are some things which I know now, being very happily married for almost 28 years.  Most of these things are very simple, and you’ve probably heard them before, but it doesn’t hurt to hear them again!
  

    1. He is different than you!  Understand that he is a different person than you are, and operates differently.  Many of the things he does simply will not make sense (but then again, you will not make much sense to him, either!)  He is his own man and marches to the beat of a different drummer, but that’s a good thing.  You certainly don’t want a robot for a husband!  Learn to appreciate the different ways he responds, though you will probably never really understand him.  As you learn to become thankful for his ways, your marriage will grow!


    2. Do not try to change him!  Not only is he a different person, but he will not be molded by you.  The only one who can truly mold him is Christ!  As you see faults in his character, remember that he needs your prayers.  Perhaps God allows you to see these faults so you can pray for him.  It is doubtful that anyone knows him as well as you do; “Who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”  If you don’t pray for him in these areas, no one else will.

 Never harp at him, nag, or correct him.  He will find out soon enough that he is wrong, if he is.  Allow him to grow.

    3. Understand that he will make mistakes; sometimes he will make some whoppers!  But then again, so will you.  Allow him to make mistakes and learn from them, even if it is terribly inconveniencing to you.  He will learn, and eventually things will smooth out.

    4. NEVER complain about him to your friends; if you have a problem, work it out with your husband.  If you need counseling or prayer, talk to your pastor and/or his wife!  But to involve a friend in your marital problems is to emasculate your man, and dig a pit for your marriage’s coffin.  That also goes for complaining to your mother, his mother, or anyone else.  This is perhaps one of the hardest things to do, but it’s also the best thing to do.  This practice alone has probably saved many a marriage!


    5. Let the man provide, like the Lord wants him to.  God calls him “The savior of the body,” and that is what he is.  Let him take care of you.  When the hard times come financially – and they will – you may be tempted to run out and find a way to provide.  But allow him to provide for you, and you will be free to attend to other important needs.


   6. Remember that life is not forever.  Keep the honey flowing while you have it, because someday his arms will not be there to wrap around you in the cold of the night.  No matter how long you are married, it is never long enough when you outlive your spouse.

The last one is the one that really gets me, now that I’m older and health issues have crept up.  I didn’t realize that they would come, and I guess I thought that now was forever.  Now I understand that someday perhaps one of us will be alone, and I want to enjoy My Beloved while both of us are together.

Let’s take our marriages up to a higher level this year, starting with us ladies!